The following article is quoted from a good friend's blog, Grow Into Yourself (http://growintoyourself.com), a daily must-visit for me to stay connected with my own intelligence.
"As a member of this new breed of alpha females, I too am faced with the similar task of defining what marriage will mean to me. As I deconstruct myself and the millennial tradition of the conventional marriage, I wonder if self sufficiency is the better option for women like me. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to have freedom. At this point in my life, that word is paramount. I feel that for the first time in my life, I have chosen to live the life I wanted to live. The stability, protection and security that I have found is now supported through me financially. Among less tangible things are those obtained through personal growth in learning humbly the acceptance of things that are out of my control, and the taking of responsibility for things within my control. Feeling like you are living the apex of this life however is a two edged sword as self reliance doesn’t breed the desire to settle down, a logical next step after one “finds” herself. So here I pose the question, for women who value self reliance and freedom above all else, how does the idea of marriage fit into their lives? How does one finally figure out what marriage and commitment means to them? I have been told that this is a natural phase and that eventually I will tire of freedom, but what if this is what I truly value most?"
Here is what I have to say,
Not categorizing myself as the so-called alpha female in particular, I do believe, however, self reliance is important to any woman at any stage of their life. I certainly value my capability of being able to satisfy myself in terms of material needs. Freedom, on the other hand, has never crossed my mind in a sense of possibly conflicting with being in a committed relationship (I wouldn't say marriage frankly because it hasn't happened to me yet). Mostly because I feel that being committed to someone actually sets me free; it gives me peace of mind. That's freedom to me - it's the greatest comfort to know I have someone who loves and treasures me by my side, so I am able to focus on a bigger picture such as career and family. It's a shame, really, to feel all that freedom will be lost once in a committed relationship. I feel that if the person you are in a relationship with, or married to, does not value what you value, or cannot provide you that emotional comfort and security to make you feel you still have the option of living your life the way you want to, perhaps he/she isn't right for you. To me, committing IS freedom.
DO SHARE!
xoxo,
Beibei
growintoyourself.com
ReplyDelete